How to Talk to Your Kids about Equity
In today’s world, the importance of equity has never been more evident. As parents and guardians, we have a responsibility to instill these values in our children from a young age, starting with discussions about equity within the family.
While the concept of equity may seem complex, especially for young minds, it is essential to break it down into understandable terms and foster a culture of fairness and justice at home. By engaging in conversations about equity, we can empower our children to become compassionate, empathetic individuals who understand the importance of treating others with dignity and respect.
Equity vs. Equality: What’s the Difference?
Equity and equality are often used interchangeably, but they represent distinct concepts with different implications. Equality refers to the principle of treating everyone the same, regardless of their individual circumstances or needs. It aims to provide equal opportunities and resources to all individuals, without regard to their starting point or existing advantages or disadvantages.
On the other hand, equity recognizes that individuals have different starting points and may require different levels of support to achieve the same outcomes. It involves providing each person with the resources and opportunities they need to reach their full potential, taking into account factors such as socioeconomic status, race, gender, and ability.
While equality focuses on sameness, equity emphasizes fairness and justice, ensuring that everyone has access to what they need to thrive.
Teaching Equity at Home
Family is a child’s first and most influential environment, shaping their understanding of the world and their place in it. By instilling values of fairness, justice, and inclusivity within the family, parents lay the foundation for children to become empathetic, socially conscious individuals who value equity and diversity.
Discussing equity at home fosters critical thinking skills and encourages children to question societal norms and systems of inequality. By addressing issues of privilege, bias, and discrimination in age-appropriate ways, parents equip their children with the tools to navigate complex social dynamics and advocate for equity in all aspects of their lives.
3 Ways to Talk about Equity at Home
1) Develop your own understanding of equity.
Oftentimes, adults–and specifically, parents–shy away from conversations about difficult concepts, ideas, or current events because they are unsure of how to start or what to say. They may worry that they will say the wrong thing, or that their children might ask questions that they don’t have an answer to.
These are normal concerns, and there is an invitation here to deepen your own understanding and experience with equity (or any other topic that you might find uncomfortable or complicated). Books and podcasts are excellent resources to help you develop and deepen your own understanding, providing a stronger foundation that you can use to help guide your children to develop their own understanding.
2) Highlight instances of equity in your home.
Your children will be the first to tell you when something feels unfair to them. They will complain that their sibling got a bigger slice of pie than they did. They will argue over who gets to sit in the front seat of the car, who gets to press the walk signal button at the crosswalk, or who gets to choose the movie for family night.
These are all teachable moments to talk about equity and the difference between equality and equity.
Every child gets what they need to thrive. A younger child has an earlier bedtime because their bodies need more rest. An older child might have a later curfew as they become more responsible and independent.
Helping your children understand these differences within the home will help them to develop empathy and understanding when they observe it out in public.
3) Have open conversations about how equity looks in the real world.
Provide your child with concrete examples of how equity might look in public. For instance, the American with Disabilities Act was enacted to provide equal access and opportunity for people with disabilities.
Wheelchair ramps were installed to provide access to buildings that previously only had stairs, which limited the access to the building to only those who could navigate the stairs.
Your children also may observe instances of equity in the classroom. They may have a peer who leaves the classroom to take assessments in a different classroom, or another peer may get extra time to finish an assignment or test. These are all instances when the peer is getting extra support that your child may not be receiving. Your child’s peer is getting the support that they need so they are able to receive the same education opportunities as your child.
4. Welcome your child’s questions.
Children are naturally inquisitive, and they will ask questions when they are curious. Your children may see someone in a wheelchair and wonder aloud why they have a wheelchair. Rather than quieting your child and ignoring their question, teach them how to ask the question and talk about the differences they are pointing out in a polite and respectful manner.
When you allow your child to ask questions about why people look, move, or behave differently than them, it will help them to understand that it is ok to talk openly about our differences and similarities. It will deepen their understanding of the world around them, and welcome new perspectives, which are important skills to develop as a global citizen.
More Examples of Equity and Equality
There are many more instances when you and your children will be met with examples of equity and equality in the world. Here are additional areas of focus that can prompt conversation about equity:
- Public resources available in multiple languages. Providing a resource to the community is a form of equality—all community members have access. However, if a community member is not a native-English speaker, they may be unable to understand the resource. This is why public services provide translators and printed resources in multiple languages.
- Free and reduced school lunch. School lunch is available to all students (equality), and there are many families from lower-income homes that are unable to afford school lunch. Programs have been put in place for these families so that their children can still access the school lunch without extra pressure on the family’s finances (equity).
- Access to family/non-binary bathrooms. There are public restrooms available in every community for use by anyone (equality). However, traditionally the bathrooms have been segregated by gender—male and female, with the baby changing tables often only present in the female bathroom. By providing family bathrooms, local communities are making access to bathrooms more equitable for non-binary and for families with young children.
Resources to Support the Conversation
There are countless resources available to help you develop your own understanding of equity, as well as books made specifically for children. Many of these books may be available at your local library.
Resources for Adults
Books for Children
- Last Stop on Market Street (affiliate link) by Matt de la Pena
- Strictly No Elephants (affiliate link) by Lisa Mantchev
- The Talk (affiliate link) by Wade Hudson
- Stamped: Racism, Anti-racism, and You (affiliate link) by Jason Reynolds and Ibram X. Kendi
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