Daily Questions to Ask Your Kids to Get Them Talking
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So when you ask your kid for the umpteenth day in a row, “How was your day,” some might say it’s insane to expect any response other than “fine.” This exchange leaves even the most engaged parents deflated. We want to connect with our children—especially as they enter into their adolescent years—and yet, it can feel close to impossible to have any sort of meaningful conversation.
So what can parents do to encourage communication, openness, and connection? One way is to ask better questions and to do this at a time when your child is in a mental space to chat. Not sure where to start? Read on for strategies that promise to enhance communication and strengthen the connection between you and your children.
Timing of Your Questions
It’s instinctual to immediately ask your kids questions about their day the moment you reunite after the school and work day.
How was your day?
How did your math test go?
Do you have homework?
But consider this:
When you first walk in the door after a long day at work, do you want to answer question after question from your partner or kids? Probably not.
It’s likely that your child feels the same way. They just spent the entire day around people, being told what to do, when to do it, and where to go. Most kids come home from school tired and overstimulated, ready for some peace and quiet and alone time. The last thing they want to do is field question after question about their day.
Instead, try this. Give them a warm welcome, a snack or drink, and then give them some space to decompress. Save the questions for a little later.
Delivery of the Questions
Even after giving your child space, they will likely push back about answering all of your questions—especially the tweens and teenagers. Instead of launching into an interrogation session, try asking your questions when the focus is on something other than a conversation. For instance, as they are setting the table, helping cook dinner, or on the way to practice—any time when they aren’t looking you directly in the eyes.
Making the conversation more “happenstance” can make them more comfortable and help them feel less pressure. Likewise, choose only one or two questions to ask each day. When you rotate the questions you ask, it invites more conversation instead of becoming routine.
At dinner, a time when you likely really want more conversation, make it fun. Write questions on extra-wide popsicle sticks (affiliate link) and leave them in a cup in the center of the table. During dinner, have your youngest child (or all of your children) pull a popsicle stick and go around the table to have everyone answer each question. Provide space for your children to elaborate and tell a story about something funny or challenging that happened to them that day.
20 Questions to Ask Your Children
Check out the below questions and think about which ones might land with your unique kiddos.
For Younger Children:
1. What made your teacher smile today?
2. What game did you play during recess today?
3. What is your favorite thing to do at recess?
4. What was for snack today?
5. Who did you sit with at lunch today?
For Older Children:
6. What is the weirdest thing you heard today?
7. What is something you think you should learn less about?
8. What made you feel proud today?
9. If you could redo one part of your day, which part would it be and why?
For All Children:
10. What is something that made you laugh today?
11. How were you kind or helpful today?
12. What is something kind or helpful that someone did for you today?
13. What is something that happened that made you sad today?
14. When were you bored today?
15. When were you your happiest today?
16. What is something that surprised you today?
17. What is something that you are looking forward to this week?
18. What was your rose today (favorite part of the day)?
19. What was your thorn today (least favorite part of the day)?
20. What is one new word that you learned today?
Bonus Question:
21. What mistake did you make today or in what way did you fail today?
Why the bonus question? It is important to celebrate failures as much as successes, so try asking this one regularly. In a world of instant gratification and where we see everyone’s perfect day on social media, highlighting and celebrating what didn’t work is one way to teach your children how to move through setbacks, process disappointment, and recognize that failure is a natural part of living.
In the end, these questions are just suggestions to get the conversation started. Your children will have days when they want to tell you every little detail about their day and days when they just aren’t in the mood to talk. Just as your mood fluctuates, so does your child’s. The more space you can provide them on days when they just aren’t feeling it, the more they will be willing to join in on the conversation later on.
We want to hear from you! What questions do you ask your children at the end of the day? Tell us in the comments!
Stay connected with Ed2Grow for more valuable insights and resources to help you navigate the joys and challenges of helping kids learn.
This blog post may include paid ads and as an Amazon Affiliate, Ed2Grow earns money from qualifying purchases.
